i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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