I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
