Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
