dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
