She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
