good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
