I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We are all done wearing pants today
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
