mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
