ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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