I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
