ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
