Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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