Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
