Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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