PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize