I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
