do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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