the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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