apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
