you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
