he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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