I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
