He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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