he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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