Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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