dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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