I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Found the puke drawer
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
