you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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