I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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