I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
