i think my mom watched the whole time
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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