The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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