if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
