**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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