Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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