how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
