My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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