Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
