seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
