3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
