Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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