Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
