when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
