yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
