Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
