This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
