That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
