let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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