so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
