lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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